10 more acts compete tonight for a spot in the Top 20. We also find out which 5 acts from last night will advance to the next round.
Piers thought last night’s acts were terrific! His standards are low, obviously. Sharon thought there were a lot of surprises, but not good ones. I’ll agree with the last part of her statement. Hoff is very excited to find out the results from last night. He is obviously easily amused. Keep him away from the hamburgers
First, we find out which contestants made the cut. - VIDEO
More Recap and Video after the JUMP…
Extreme FX and RonnieB take center stage: Extreme FX makes the cut. Shimshi and Jessica Price take center stage Card kicker is toast, I know it…YES. Jessica Price makes the cut. DC Cowboys and The Cadence take center stage. The Cadence move on. This is too easy. Neal E. Boyd and Derrick Barry take center stage. Bitch, please. Neal E. Boyd makes the cut. The suspense is killing me! The James Gang and Elite came in last in the vote, which means the judging panel saves the act. Elite, the little martial arts girl, is crying. Piers tells her to stop it, cause he’s just about to crush her dreams. Piers chooses The James Gang. Sharon also chooses with The James Gang. Something about them being old and needing them money, or something. Which means The James Gang makes the cut. The little martial arts girl looks destroyed, which is why she should be at home playing with dolls or something. NOT competing in some TV reality show.
The next 10 compete:
Beyond Belief Dance Company - Ohh the local Texas high school dance team is trying out for America’s Got Talent! There’s a lot of jumping around on stage. I’m probably spoiled because I just finished watching the latest season of So You Think You Can Dance. They’re just a’ight. Piers said it was a “bit of a ropey start…as it all came together, it was electrifying.” “Keep it tight, stay close,” says Piers. You wish. “Very sassy,” says Sharon, “but you have to take it to a higher level.” She suggests adding clogging. What? Hoff, the easily amused one, says, “You nailed it.” - VIDEO
Paul Salos - Ancient (72) Frank Sinatra impersonator. He sounds nothing like Frank Sinatra. He’s grandpa in a Frank Sinatra hat singing Frank Sinatra songs. He’s not going to make it to the next round. I continue to be amazed at the suckitude of the acts that are advancing. This is pathetic. Piers says, “…You’ve got his moves, you’ve got his charms, you’ve got his personality…I want to see you swing into the finals.” Is Piers high? He’s got hold of Paula’s stash. Sharon says, “You’re just fantatastic” Hoff says, “I’m sure Frank Sinatra is looking down right now and saying, ‘Yeah Baby.’” These guys are patronizing this dude. They praised him so much, he may just make the cut. - VIDEO
Kazual - Eep. These guys have sacrificed everything to pursue their dreams, but this group of boybanders–kind of a Boys 2 Men knock off–who really aren’t boys any more, are terrible singers. Well one guy can sorta sing. But over all, this is just sad to watch. Piers says the harmonies are good, but as lead vocalists, they don’t cut it. Sharon says the vocals were way, way off. Hoff says, “You were nervous, that’s what happened…you know what? You pulled it together in the end…I hope America gives you a 2nd chance.” No they weren’t and no they shouldn’t. Piers pipes in to say it wasn’t nerves, that the lead singer was good, but the rest were not. Hoff contradicts himself, “Well then, just have the lead singer sing lead!” Whatever. - VIDEO
The Zooperstars - These guys, in big cartoon outfits running around the stage, are completely random and pointless. They say really serious things like, “We’re going to kick some butt” in their big cartoon outfits and it’s hilarious. They’re like reject sports mascots. It’s actually pretty retarded, and I mean that in a good way. Piers plays the heavy. He wants to take a giant harpoon and take the air out of their costumes. Sharon says, “Alrighty then, I can’t believe I’m giving comments to a duck…I don’t know whether your act will sustain an hour and a half in Vegas.” Hoff who is pretty pointless and retarded himself, loved them. Well, as long as we’re advancing no-talents, I say we advance these guys. They’re semi-amusing, at least. I may vote tonight. Ok, I’m kidding, no I won’t. - VIDEO
Ozzy Osbourne in the house!
The Wright Kids - Cute kids who play bluegrass. They’re actually talented, but TOO YOUNG. Stay home, play with your friends, go to school! They decide to play a pop tune, “Daydream Believer” rather than bluegrass. It’s not bad considering how very young they are. The bass player looks to be about 7–and he’s playing one of those giant stand-up basses. Piers says, “I love you guys, not the best singers in the world, but you make up for it with great charm.” Sharon says, “You took a big risk, you are very brave, it paid off.” Hoff says, “It was like watching the Partridge Family…we need to get back to those values.” Maybe one of them can grow up to do a billion drugs and smack around transvestites. - VIDEOS
Jonathan Arons - Jonathon, the double threat! He dances….and…wait for it…plays trombone! Uh. OK! Wait, is that a dying animal wailing off stage? The trombone playing is heinous. Jonathan, in a sparkley blue suit, not only sounds horrible, but has uber-lame dance moves. Piers calls him incredibly entertaining. Sharon says he’s a great entertainer, but she also calls him out on his crappy trombone playing. But I don’t think she cares. Ditto for Hoff. “You’re like a live cartoon,” says Hoff. A live cartoon that makes my ears bleed. - VIDEO
Daniel Jens - I remember this guy from the auditions. Daniel just came back from Iraq–naturally they’re pulling the patriot card. He sings the Police’s “Every Breath You Take.” Thanks for defending America, Daniel. But your singing, it ain’t all that. I have to say, though, he’s putting everything he’s got into his performance. Daniel gets an A for effort. Piers says that he hasn’t heard a singing voice yet from him that belongs in Vegas. “Great song choice,” says Sharon, “You have to be careful of your breathing, but otherwise, you were perfect.” Hoff says, “You took the stage…you’re a man, you inspire me.” Really Hoff? Maybe we should bring back the DC Cowboys… - VIDEO
The Slippery Kittens - Wait, these chicks perform their slutty act in a club in Salt Lake City, Utah? They call themselves the Slippery Kittens? That must go down well with the local elders! And I don’t mean to say that Burlesque is slutty, it’s just that the act is so inept and obvious, it verges on vulgar. Not surprised they keep advancing–the lowest common denominator is what America’s Got Talent is all about! Piers said, “When you took your clothes off, I wanted you to put them back on.” Sharon says, “I think he needs glasses…I can see you strutting your stuff in Vegas.” Says Hoff, “All I can say is, June is busting out all over.” Well, that made no sense. - VIDEO
George the Giant - Describes himself as a 7 ft 3” guy who does weird things to himself. Seriously, I don’t want to know. He put himself into the hospital during rehearsal. Wow, the circus freak show has come to AGT! OMG this is so corny. Now he’s invoking Harry Houdini. He’s hanging upside down, and a bunch of kids come out with whiffle bats and start beating him. He’s a human pinata! A bunch of candy comes spilling out. That was supposed to be dangerous? Entertaining? I guess he was kidding! Piers calls it pathetic. “Silly, Silly, Silly,” says Sharon. Then why did you advance this clown? Isn’t this supposed to be the semi-finals? “Very strange,” says Hoff. - VIDEO
Queen Emily - Emily gave her dreams of being a singer up to raise her daughters. SOB. Zz. She sings “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”. She takes the stage in a long red dress with a train. She’s got a couple of boy dancers to back her up and tend to her train. She’s a decent belter, and I forsee a lifetime of Pride festivals in Emily’s future. Like last night, the show ending sob-story performer gets a big standing O from the judges and the audience. Piers says, “We have found a Superstar…we’ve found someone who can beat Michael Phelps.” Well, Piers just knocked Neal Boyd off his perch! Hoff says, “You have just thrown this competition in complete disarray, you are now absolutely the front runner.” Gah, this is so contrived! They are obviously setting up a fake competition between Neal and Emily. You’d think they’d at least let the competition play out for a few weeks before setting up phony rivalries. These peeps cut right to the chase!
This show? It still sucks.
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O.K. Wasn’t Eli Matson supposed to be performing tonight. I want my Eli.
p.s. a great big heart-felt thank you to America for getting rid of faux-Britney and the DC Cowboys. Honestly, can’t thank you enough.
“Bitch, please”….LOL mj…don’t you mean ” It’s Britney, Bitch!”
WTF??? Where the hell is Eli???
Eli is not till next week.
When did that happen — I thought the preview last night “inferred (I guess)” that he was on tonight with the air puppets (not be confused with the Hoff)
ROFLMAO!
Did you see the look on Neal’s face? Puhlease… he was worried about making it over the Britney knock off? NOT.
I just signed up on the official site just to find out and apparently the next 20 do the same thing next week. No surprise to me that they are holding Eli back to the last with all the interest in him on the net.
OMG WTF????? Zooperstars or whatever? Just why? That is soooo stupid.
I like the old guy doing Frank Sinatra. Good for him for persuing his dream, no matter what age. You gotta respect that!
Hoff is a tool…Zooperstars sucked…I started dozing off.
Lisa- Well I have a theory on this. Last night in the pimp spot was Neal “My Life is a FREAKING Sob Story” Boyd and tonight its Queen whatever the hell her name is. My guess is they know who they want in the finals, so they are spreading them out over the 4 shows and giving them the pimp spot in each show. Obviously TCO is Neal “The second coming of Paul Potts” with Queen, Eli and my guess is the little four year old. 4 singers is a bit much but this is my take on it.
Zooperstars…WTF??? Get off my tv!!!
Word. We must keep in mind that the Hoff thinks he himself can not only act but sing, neither of which is true. So, it’s a given that his talent assessing skills are pretty skewed. I find the Hoff so ridiculous, and so proud of his ridiculousness, that I honestly just can’t hate him. I have to respect a no-talent hack who manages to sustain a 30 year career.
The best part of watching this show is reading mj’s recap…..bwahahahhahah!!!
“Maybe one of them can grow up to do a billion drugs and smack around transvestites.”…..that right there is money mj!!!
Sorry guys, but Zooperstars crack me up. Even Piers laughed when the bug ate the Crew Guy.
Frank Sinatra Redux is the only guy I would take time to vote for so far tonight though.
There’s something here about appealing to the lowest common denominator…
I was reading the official site & someone posted the name of another opera singer who quite frankly leaves Neal in the dust. I looked him up on youtube and I have to agree. Who is this guy? I’ve never heard of him.
Nessun Dorma - Cliff McCormick
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZO8kgUsdJ8
While Neal has a nice voice, I have yet to see him hold those notes out for a long time like opera singers do. Also, not impressed with his *non opera* voice. He has a nice tone, but for me he is just not all that.
ETA… Thanks Baxter! I have always thought Neal was TCO why I have no idea. Simon has Paul, Ill Divo and wants Neal too? UGH. Give me Eli’s lovely voice and his passionate story telling anyday over the above.
When did Emily become Queen Emily? She was all show, and, no substance. I thought her singing was subpar tonight. Superstar, my butt!
I have no idea what happened to the show this year. It’s like Simon went off his rocker when telling them who to pass through auditions.
This does not bode well for AI.
In 2 days and 20 acts, I have yet to see anyone that I would go watch and/or listen to for 1 1/2 hrs in Vegas. Don’t even ask me about PAYING to see them.
If this is what Simon considers talent in the USA, god help us all and boot his butt back to England ASAP.
ok seriously this show is fucking retarded.
its so bad, that i am resorting to do something i never thought id do- root for the bad people. im praying that the ZOOperstars win. omfg how hilarious would that be???!!!! it really would be worth seeing the look on Pierce’s face…or if Brittney Boy won. omg. could u imagine?
i mean, i thought the last chick was average. terrible karaoke song choice. below average vocals. ilets be serious, she wouldnt make it to top 24 on idol. and Lord help her if she put out an album. can u say TANK?
the acts the past two nights were a joke. its almost as if they are doing it that way and saving the singers they like to end the show to make them look amazing. omg, im still caught up on the ZOOperstars. thats so fucking funny they made it this far. Good Lord.
and STOP WITH THE FUCKING SOB STORIES ALREADY…GEEZE.
And my hopes were high for Frank Sinatra after his initial audition (the first part of his initial audition blew my mind, then he kinda lost it at the end)..tonight i was disappointed with him.
and the 3 little kids werent even singing really, it was a track.
Oh, and i fucking LOVE your recaps MJ. laugh factory for me.
Zooperstars for the WIN!!!!!! (unless someone i remotely like comes on)
The randomness of the creative genius behind the ZOOperstars earned my support.
In other words, they crack me up.
Wow. This show is beyond lame. I haven’t seen a single act yet worth $1,000 never mind $1,000,000.
The ridiculousness of the Zooperstars actually entertained me at least. And I too thought… wouldn’t it be GREAT if these guys won???? It would certainly serve them right for passing this crap off as talent. So I did the unthinkable and voted for them.
What happened between last year and this? Last year was at least WATCHABLE (the episodes I watched anyway)! I almost turned the show off at least half a dozen times tonight. But if mj can stick it out for the rest of the season, so can I. :)
CooksCookie,
I was also voting for the Zoopas.
If the next 2 semi final shows are as pathetic as the first 2, i would love to see them win.
And honestly, they have been the most entertaining to me so far. I hope they make it through tonight…i wish VFTW would get involved with them.
I couldn’t stick it out through the first season of the show — yeah, it has to be really bad for me to follow through on turning the channel on variety/singing shows.
The second year it was Terry Fader, Cass Daley — big gap to the amusing but not incredibly talented — the teenage girl singer (Julie Irwin?), the karate guys (yum) — bigger gap — the no-talents.
I expect it will turn out much the same this year. Maybe:
Eli Mattson, one of the opera singers — big gap — the littlest singer, Zooperstars — bigger gap — the chaff.
O.k. — I love Eli Mattson and the judges may not love him as much. He’s the reason I am sticking it out this year.
Eli Mattson is the one and only reason to endure the pain and humiliation of the Hoff and the rest of the yo mamma should be so embarrassed talent. I’m hooked on his emotive, buttery voice. ‘Course I guess I could skip the show and just watch mj’s vids.
ok-
All i could think about today during class was the Zooperstars and how i couldn’t wait to watch their performance again.
And after watching it 520x, i really think i would pay to go watch them.
Having said that, i hope they win at this point.
And the giant snail eating the stagehand- priceless.
This show perfectly illustrates Simon’s contempt for the United States. Lowest common denominator indeed.
I fear for what Simon will do to Idol.
aw, my friend’s cousin is in “Beyond Belief”….
I saw Eli Mattson on a video on another board. Although I haven’t watched the show lately(the one time I did a while back it was God awful) it may be worth watching it next week just for him.