So Mya basically kicked everyone’s ass tonight. She should win the whole thing, but she won’t. It’ll be Donny Osmond, I’m sure of it.

The judges were very generous with their comments and their scores tonight. But, they graded on a curve, as you can see from the combined scores below. Yeah, Mya is way out front.

Mya – 59
Joanna – 52
Kelly – 51
Donny – 50
Aaron – 50

Either Kelly or Aaron is going home tomorrow night. I think Aaron is toast–he doesn’t have the fanbase to carry him farther, I don’t think. It’s possible Joanna could get cut too. Mya and Donny? Definitely safe.

Recap and Videos after the JUMP…

We’re down to 5 stars, set to dance two complete routines–one ballroom and one Latin. The theme for the Latin roundis dance through the decades.

Ballroom Round

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin – Quickstep – Mya and Dmitry glide across the floor, as if on air. I don’t see any fancy props, just some awesome dancing. Surely Len can’t object? Len says, “There is a disappointment for me….because I couldn’t find anything to criticize” OH LEN! Bruno says, “This is quality!” Carrie Ann says, “You made something difficult and intricate…flow with ease and grace.” Carrie Ann – 9, Len – 10 , Bruno – 10 – 29 -1-800-868-3411 – VIDEO

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff ‘“ Foxtrot -Oh boo effin hoo! Aaron is bitching about never winning anything. aAaron was almost eliminated last week despite topping the leaderboard, because NO ONE LIKES HIM. Karina isn’t feeling well, and the dancing lacks…some verve. Bruno says, “I felt it was a little bit tense…it’s a brave attempt, it wasn’t as smooth and free as it could have been.” Carrie Ann, the foot police says, “Your foot came off the floor…I saw your effort…but there was a loss of fluidity.” Len says, “I am proud of you, whatever happens…for a young man, I think you’ve done very very well.” ‘“ Carrie Ann – 7, Len – 8, Bruno 8 – 23 – 1-800′“868-3401 – VIDEO

Joanna Kupra and Derek Hough – Quickstep – Joanna recognizes that Mya is her biggest competition. Not as light and airy as Mya, or as effortless. A lot of hopping, running and jumping going on here. They get a standing O. Carrie Ann says, “Your legs…you forget to point your toes…a little out of sync.” Len says, “There was a lot of running about…you went wrong…this is not the standard for the quarter final.” Bruno says, “Difficult dance…downstairs, there were a few issues…not one of your best performances.” Carrie Ann – 8, Len – 7, Bruno – 8, 23 -1-800-868-3415. – VIDEO

Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel – Foxtrot – The judges loved this, but I thought it was a little clunky. But what do I know. Kelly has the audience on her side, even when she falters. But she strikes me as a wee bit spoiled–she gets by without doing the work. I have a feeling it’s the story of her life. Len says, “I thought your posture was good, your footwork was a distraction.” Bruno says, “Light and ethereal…you sustained the performance.” Carrie Ann says, “The moment that you have a breakthrough, the audience goes crazy for you.” – Carrie Ann – 8, Len -8, Bruno – 9 – 25 – 1-800-868-3416 – VIDEO

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson – Viennese Waltz – More whining! Donny has no down time. Ooo Donny. Lay off the ham, dude. Hammy and average. Eh. It doesn’t matter how he dances. He’s going to win, you know. Standing O! Peeps love Donny. Bruno says, “You can really play it…it was like watching a Lifetime movie.” Carrie Ann says, “I found it mesmerizing…your posture has improved.” Len says, “It was all a bit arty-farty.” – Carrie Ann – 9, Len – 8, Bruno – 9 – 26 – 1-800-868-3405 – VIDEO

Before the Latin round, the pros dance a routine. – VIDEO

Latin Round – Each dance will feature a different decade.

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin – 70’s Samba – They’re going to incorporate some disco moves into their samba. Oh Em Gee. Ya, another awesome routine from Mya. She’s HOT. Dmitry’s costume is LOLtastic. Diggin’ the pornstache! Carrie Ann says, “That was an incredible samba,” Len says, “Mya you are absolutely on fire…you have produced two dances….with no gimmicks.” Bruno says, “You are unbelievable…I love bad girls….” Bruno breaks into “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.” Tom deadpans, “You managed to impersonate Diana Ross and a strangled cat at the same time.” Carrie Ann – 10, Len – 10, Bruno – 10 – 30 PERFECT SCORE. The first this season. – VIDEO

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff – 90s Samba – Yay for clips of Aaron when he was a bratty little child star in the 90’s. What the hell is 90’s style? Aaron is back to being frenetic, rather than sexy. He’s pulling annoying faces. Len says, “You came out and performed it…you sold it…well done.” Bruno says, “All that energy has finally made good…” Carrie Ann says, “You are truly a great performer.” Aaron said he almost threw up. TMI! Carrie Ann – 9, Len – 9, Bruno -9 – 27 – VIDEO

Joanna Kupra and Derek Hough – The future – Paso Doble – When I was a kid, we all thought we’d have flying cars by the year 2000. So, the imagining of the future as robot world is a little cliched. And all the black light crap made it hard to see the steps. Having said that, there were some pretty impressive moves in this routine. Bruno says, “A masterful reinvention of a classic.” Carrie Ann says, “Outstanding execution of the theme…Joanna you didn’t miss a step.” Len says, “Genius…the content was fantastic.” Carrie Ann – 9, Len – 10, Bruno – 10 – 29. – VIDEO

Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel – 60’s Jive – The choreo with the doll was kind of weird. Were they supposed to be kids? I don’t think it one of Kelly’s best performances. It wasn’t any better than her Jitterbug a few weeks ago, which the judges slammed. Well, she’s got a low score for the round, comparatively speaking. Len says, “Kelly you have been an absolute revelation to me…you’ve come in week after week stronger and stronger.” Bruno says, “What an achievement…go for it even more.” Carrie Ann says, “Definitely one of your best performances…a few little missteps.” Carrie Ann – 8, Len – 9, Bruno – 9 – 26 – VIDEO

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson – 80s Paso Doble – Donny dressed as Adam Ant, is just…sad. I mean seriously, what the hell was that? It wasn’t very good. ad. Len says, “The most scary bizarre Paso I’ve ever seen, but I liked it.” Bruno says, “That had more camp in it than a drag queen convention…” Carrie Ann says, “I though it was hysterical…but it was a little odd for me…I couldn’t see all of your lines.” Carrie Ann – 8, Len – 8 Bruno – 8 – 24 – VIDEO

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