COMMENTS ON THE LETTER

To: Tom Corson (EVP and GM RCA Music Group)
Tom Carrabba (EVP and GM Jive/Zomba Group)
Simon Fuller (Executive, 19E Label Group)
From: Clive Davis (BMG Visionary)
Subject: Re: Fans are Not Motivated

New plan. I was just watching a documentary about seal hunting (note to assistant: Where can I get one of those clubs?) and I came up with a new idea to rile up the fans.

It has come to my attention that when we act in a predictable way, people donà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢t get antsy. And if they arenà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢t antsy, they arenà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢t cranky. And if they arenà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢t cranky, they wonà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢t become unbalanced and start attacking each other. What the world needs is more unbalanced people and to do that, we have to throw our game plan off-kilter. We have to look crazy to attract crazies!

COMMENT: I would suspect that Clive and company are glad that Archuleta does indeed have some crazy fans.

So, Tom, what I want you to get rid of the release date for the one that likes to scream all those sappy 80s songs (please tell me he isnà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢t creating another 80s mixed tape? I still have indigestion from the last one. Try to hook him up with somebody from the last decade at least.

COMMENT: Are they talking about Cooks singing the 80s songs?

Diane has a new song you should look at. She keeps muttering about releasing those pictures of me in the toga with the goat so at least give her a call). Everybody knows weà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢d be morons to release that CD any other week than the one before Black Friday, but if we remove the release date they fans will start thinking the release date could be anything. Maybe even January. As if Ià ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢m that stupid. And, whatever you do, donà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢t give them a single. Haha! Keep them on their toes.

COMMENT: They are talking about Cook fans, aren’t they????? Keep them on their toes about not getting a single from Cook because it keeps them motivated to talk about wondering about it.

Can you leak some story about how weà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢ve got him recording something from that insane Swedish chick who wrote à ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã…“My Destinyà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬ ? Too much? Okay, I guess there are limits.

COMMENT: Are they talking about McPhee’s My Destiny?

Meanwhile, other Tom, you get those interent book guys to not allow pre-orders at all for that little kid who sings all those à ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã…“meaningà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬  songs (whatà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢s up with him? Make sure he gets some bubblegum pop.

COMMENT: Are they talking about Archie here? The Internet book guys are Amazon!!!!

I still have that ulcer from Kellyà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢s last album. I donà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢t want any meaning songs! Superficial! Thatà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢s what sells. Gas is $5 a gallon. Nobody wants reality. Reality sucks. See if Miley has any left-overs we can scoop up. Just remember to change the pronouns this time).

COMMENT: They want Archie to use some of Miley’s left-over songs and just change the pronouns in the lyrics.

The fans will go nuts! Theyà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢ll probably chew off their own arms. Then, when we release it for pre-order and it will zoom up to number one and the other kidà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢s fans will chew off their arms! Youà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢ll be able to tell who the Idol fans are from all the chewed off arms. Oh, what a perfect world! Just make sure that they still have one arm left so they can still hold their credit cards. We donà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢t want to piss off Walmart.

COMMENT: Archie fans will go nuts with Archie singing Miley’s left over song. Then they release Archie’s CD for pre-order to zoom it up to number 1 which will make Cook’s fans angry and try to beat Archie.
So they want a competition between the two Davids so the crazy fans of both Davids compete with each other on the sales.

Get moving. I want a full scale mental health crisis before the end of the week!

Clive

COMMENT: Basically, Clive are enjoying that Archie’s fans are so crazy and they want Cook’s fans to be as crazy to get the sales war going.

PS Fuller, donà ¢Ã¢â€š ¬Ã¢â€ž ¢t send me that guy with the long hair to park cars anymore. He keeps doing Marley impersonations and confusing the crap out of the Jonas Brothers.

COMMENT: The Jonas brothers are dumb???

CONCLUSION: It looks like 19E will be playing with the crazy fans of both Davids to make themselves some millions of dollars from the stupid fans. They truly love suckers especially the ones who bulk-buy and are kept on their toes wondering about the album/single! They like it when the crazy fans wants to compete in sales. They want motivated fans- crazy fans!!! Good strategy!!!

I wonder how long this craziness and obssessiveness will last among the fans.