Tonight was the Simon show. I can count a number of times his remarks made me laugh out loud. My take on this year’s kinder and gentler Simon is that he’s not working hard to put on the meanie act. I suspect what we seeing is the real-life Simon, rather than Idol Simon. He’s made noises in the press that he’s ready to leave the show. Maybe he’s so bored, he can’t be bothered with the act. Whatever the case, I like the nice, but honest Simon, sprinkled with a healthy dose of snark.
At any rate, I’m totally over the auditions. Best of the Rest = Major filler. Why not just give us another night of Hollywood? It’s not as if last year’s filler spectacular scored incredible ratings to warrant a repeat.
I say it’s time for Drama! Tears! Bitchy Cat Fights! MEOW! Hollywood rules.
Sigh. I’m feeling really half-hearted about re-capping this shiz, but I’ll give it a try:
Luke Reeder 26, Hollywood FL - He’s wearing a hat with ear-flaps, a blindingly white t-shirt over his enormous belly, and his singing begins badly and ends as earsplitting screamo. I love when a contestant looks about ready to explode and then suddenly stops. Then they look at the judges all proud of themselves like, “Soooo, where’s my ticket to Hollywood?” Simon says, “Everything was slightly mad.”
Victor Villegas 18, Grand Prairie, TX - Randy describes his badness “almost like a sheep, or an animal.” Randy starts to baaa like a goat to illustrate. Victor represents your generically terrible Idol contestant. The kind I won’t miss seeing on my Tee Vee.
Amy Davis - “Blue Bayou” by Linda Ronstadt - Amy describes growing up in a poor, six-kid, single-parent family. Hm. I wonder how she paid for that boob job? Her mom worked hard raising her, and now she’s going to do what she can to, “pay her back.” Seriously, Amy has some major boobage going on here. Simon can’t stop staring at her. She’s part Japanese, and it gives her a slightly exotic look. She sure is pretty, but her vocals are mediocre–thin and charmless. I mean, damn, they cut singers who were way better than this chick. Simon thinks for a moment, thought bubble: boobs “Yes.” Randy says, “I like the possibility of the vocals of this girl.” Yeah, right Randy. Paula never actually says yes, she just looks vaguely annoyed. Amy is this year’s Becky O’Donohue.
Tiffany McCambell 21, Anderson, IN - “Halleluah” - The holy spirit told Tiffany to “go ahead and audition.” Ok, then. She tells the judges that her voice “came from God.” Simon answers dryly, “He just decided one day to give it to you…nothing more to do, just give Tiffany a voice.” Hee. After she finishes screeching at ear-splitting decibels for the Lord, (and that’s really the only way to describe her style) Simon asks, “Does he have a return policy?” Randy: “Oh Simon, that’s wrong…” Simon: “I’m sorry, If I was given that, I’d give it back!”
Next is some really dumb crap involving twin guys and a blond. She dated one first, but then hooked up with his brother later. Or something like that. I really don’t care. The three of them are auditioning together.
Cory and Chris Lane 22, Kernersville, NC -The twins rap some dumb song they made up comparing themselves to the Brittenum twins. Why the hell would they do that? Cory, the rapper, forgets the words, plus he’s terrible. I have to say–the beatboxing twin, Chris, isn’t half-bad. It’s No, no and noooo…
Ashley Lawing 19, Maiden, NC -”Red High Heels” by Kellie Pickler - Ashley enters the audition room with her six-week old puppy. “Bring him here,” says Simon. The puppy excites him almost as much as Amy’s boobage. Simon loves puppies! Ashley is a typical breed of Idol contestant–overconfident and talent-free. While she’s sucking up the audition room, the twins are outside with Ryan. The twins told Ashley she could sing so that she’d audition with them, but really they think, “She’s not that great.” Ha. Back in the audition room, Ashley can’t believe she’s been shot down, “Is it opposite day!?” “No it’s not” says Simon, “Even your dog is struggling to get out of the room.” Cut back to the boys, “She’s one of those girls who think her looks are going to take her to the top.” Mean! She doesn’t seem too upset when she comes out of the audition room. “I made it!” she yells. “Nah, just kidding!” she giggles.
Cardin McKinney 20, Nashville, TN - “One Night Only” from Dreamgirls - Cardin believes her confidence is going to get her through to Hollywood. She’s got a beautiful, clear voice, but she chooses a show tune and sings it like she’s on a big stage in front of an orchestra. Wrong move. The judges and producers don’t care for the Broadway types very much, even if the real world keeps many of them employed in various shows in New York and across the country. Hm. Of course, Simon is completely turned off, and turns her down flat. Randy and Paula say yes.
JoAnne Borgella 25, Hoboken, NJ - “I Love You” by Celine Dion - Her angle is that she’s a plus sized model. Although she’s been told she’d go farther in the business if she dropped 40 pounds, she refuses to postpone her dreams. She feels good about herself, and wants to influence others to feel the same way. Go, girl go! Randy makes a big deal out of the fact that she sang the National Anthem at Madison Square Garden for a college B-ball championship game. But, that’s nothing compared to the professional experience of some of the other contestants. She’s got a powerful voice with sweet overtones. But, Randy thinks her voice gets small in the upper register. Paula thinks she’s stunning, but Simon has very little to say except, “No.” “She’s a nice girl, though,” he says.
Alesha Stelzl 18, Ontario, CA - “Surrender” by Celine Dion - My favorite audition of the night. Something happens tonight that never happens on Idol. Initially, Alesha sings a Celine Dion song, and it’s a strident, horrible mess. One for the bad audition reel. But Randy and Paula hear something. They detect a bit of Dolly buried in her vocals somewhere, and they ask her to go off and learn a Dolly Parton song. By the way, what the hell was that screaming coming from the waiting room while she was singing?
After the break, we see Alesha scrambling to find a Dolly song. It’s obvious she barely knows who she is. Alesha appears to have a narrow musical repertoire. She settles on “Islands in the Stream,” and learns it quickly. The typical Idol story arc would have Alesha suck at least as bad or not worse the second time around. But, damn, she faces the judges again and sounds good singing Dolly. And now, I wonder about all those crappy auditions I’ve heard over the years from people who really believed they could sing. In some cases, they may not have been wrong. Just wrong-headed. At 18, Alesha doesn’t have a handle on her vocal strengths and weaknesses, and for that reason, she won’t make it far in Hollywood. Yes, Paula and Randy put her through. And even Simon admits after she leaves the room, that he was wrong, “I hate to admit it, but you’re right,” he says. I love it!
Bonus: Ryan sings Dolly Parton!
Brandi Gregorie 27, McClellandville, SC - Really bad singing coupled with flying scarves. Simon: “It ended for me when the weird striptease started.”
Charles Randy Levine 17, Laurel Hill, NC - What was that song? So much of it was bleeped out, I couldn’t hear it. Simon: “When we decide to put this show out at 3 in the morning, you can enter.”
Joshua Moreland 25, West Palm Beach, FL - “Beautiful Lady” - He’s Jay Smoove the R&B recording artist (Yes, that’s how he introduces himself) He’s got the WOW factor! And, he’s here for the ladies. He’s every smooth R&B cliche rolled up into a red-hoodied package. He could be an SNL character, he really is that ridiculous. Actually, his vocals aren’t terrible until he attempts to hit some high notes. Then it all goes to hell in a handbasket. In the middle of the song, he suddenly throws a bunch of…stuff in front of his feet. Paula calls it “accoutrement’s.” It turns out to be confetti and rose petals, and god-knows-what-else. Simon calls it over the top, corny and revolting. The segment ends with Ryan and Simon arguing over who should sweep up the audition room. A little scripted fun for the kiddies!
Next: Simon can’t remember names. Is the show over yet?
Chikezie Eze 22, Inglewood, CA - “All the Woman I Need” by Luther Vandross - Chikezie auditioned last year, now he’s back to see if he can advance further. He’s got a sweet, smooth R&B voice–more AC, than hip-hop. Maybe that’s why Simon isn’t all that impressed. Chickezie has a pretty voice, but it’s not contemporary. Randy and Paula say yes. Chikezie gets a second chance. Paula likes saying his name over and over again–Chikezie Eze, Chikezie Eze…she’s easily amused.
Danny Noriega 17, Azusa, CA - “Proud Mary” - Danny auditioned last year, and was eliminated. He reminds me immediately of Sanjaya Malakar–young, sweet faced, a bit androgynous and a little vulnerable. And like Sanjaya, his vocals aren’t quite there yet. He sings “Proud Mary”–an odd choice–in a strong voice. But he’s got these tics. His phrasing is over-wrought, and he makes faces when he sings–like he doesn’t quite understand the words. It’s too soon to tell, but if Danny makes it far in the competition, could he become a contestant who outstays his welcome? It’s deja vu all over again, and I’m not quite sure why the producers are going there. The judges heap praise on him afterward. Uhm. I guess I just don’t get it. 3 yeses, and its a go for Danny.
Next is a look back at the auditions, to the strains of some vaguely familiar Brit-pop.
And then, a preview of Hollywood Week. Bring it on!
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Reminder:
Keep spoilers out of this thread! THANK YOU! I’ll be posting a spoiler thread tomorrow for discussion…
Simon is an absolute HOOT!! Maybe HE’ll be my guy this year….hmmm….
Aw, I loved the clips for next week. But poor Josiah, he’s gonna cry again!
I liked the wrap up some of them I had never seen before. The girl who sang like Dolly Parton is being setup by Paula & Randy. Anytime those two say you can sing and put you through it’s a setup — for failure! :)
Good for Simon for telling it like it tis.
Pretty boring. Let’s hope things pick up in Hollywood!
McTatas redux with Amy Davis! Woo Hoo! I’ll tune in every week just to see them.. LOL WOW!
JoAnne is big and gorgeous, but with a paper-thin voice. What a surprise.
The over-hyped Cardin turned out to be theatrical? I’m not sure about it.
Danny Noriega is just a kid. I think he is better than David A.
So ready for the auditions to be over and on the H-town. Still disappointed we won’t be getting the group sings (?) but excited about the rest of it, including the playing of instruments.
Aw, we’re not getting the group sings?! Dang!
Actually the Dolly clone was interesting to me. I don’t know how long she had but I was impressed with her being able to master the song, not just the lyrics but towards the end of the song she really had a nice touch with the song, which is one of Dolly’s more mediocre tunes. Simon actually agreed that she was pretty good and that he was actually disappointed with that fact. I love his honesty, lol.
Ahhhh. Season 7. The Nice-ing (the De-Meaning??) of Simon! Anyway. Simon becomes a sympathetic figure this year. Look! He loves puppies! He sweeps up to help the Idol assistant! He smiles! He laughs! He hugs! He says someone is awful then takes it back! Simon, you ol’ softie, you!
The Hollywood rounds look really interesting to me this year with the dropping of group meltdowns, uh, singing, and putting in a look at more sides of these contestants. I think this changeup is good for Idol.
Oh. And I am firmly in Danny Noreiga’s camp. I liked him a lot. Definitely not any kind of clone. What a song choice! And he pulled it off beautifully.
abbysee, I wrote almost the same thing you said about the girl who sang Dolly Parton on another message board! She wasn’t bad!
BORRRRINNNG show tonight. I wish they had shown either better auditions (don’t tell me these were the best of the “good” auditions); or at least more interesting ones. I’m not surprised the ratings are down. The audition phase of Idol just seems too dragged out, and I’m sick of it. Do it the Next Great American Band style, baby!
For the so called “best” of the good auditions:
Danny’s audition was better than David A’s, I thought. But he is a little odd. Cardin was too theatrical for my taste.
I totally agree with Randy about being surprised about Joanne’s voice. I guess she’s not like the belting diva’s we’re used to seeing on idol.
No one I saw tonight gave me anything to cheer about or root for. It’s unusual because for the past few years, at least ONE person has caught my attention during the audition phase. Not so this year.
Will Season 7 be WORSE than Season 6? I had hoped it wouldn’t be so, but nothing I’ve seen has caused me to believe otherwise.
I’ve not had an instant favorite this year, but I did like several of the auditions. I do remember feeling this way in season four, when none of the auditions impressed me. Then came the semifinals… with Bo and Nadia… and top twelve greatness with Carrie, Vonzell, and Constantine.
So I have high hopes for this season!
I have seen some good singers, but will they deliver, or get lost in the mix.
Idolbeat, I bet she went home and went through Dolly’s catalog. I wanna see her tackle some of Dolly’s better stuff. Maybe a little Jolene, and then she can do some of Kellie’s stuff too. She too has a Dolly vibe.
Apparently not. I think the Hollywood meltdowns are so much more interesting than the freak parades in the initial auditions, but more because of the performances than the drama brought on by the non-team-players. I like to hear the kids sing, ok?
Same here, Preston. I think this could season could be a “sleeper”? I hope so. I’m not ready for the decline of Idol. I still heart this show so much.
I’m with those who have said they haven’t found at least one favorite. Every year I have picked at least one to follow, and they have always made it to the top 10 at least. This year, I haven’t even been able to remember anyones name from week to week. But I have to say the edited the hollywood round commercial to really make it look like its got some drama. And of course we get the usual Simon walking out of the room moment.
Me too. I remember in season 4, I knew from the start that Carrie would be around for a while, but I wasn’t firmly on her bandwagon. The auditions pretty much bored me. I didn’t make a pick until I heard Bo actually sing a (semi)full song in the top 24, and then I was done. :) That’s how it’s been pretty much every season for me. I like a few in the auditions phase, and then pick a fave the first week of the top 24.
That said, I missed the first 5 minutes tonight, so I missed Amy Davis. However, I did really like Cardin (she should have sung a different song, but I like the tone of her voice), Chikeze, Joanne, and Danny. And my sis-in-law LOVED Danny. It seems like we’ve seen auditions from most of the top 50 to me… has anyone else noticed that?
ETA: I went back and looked at the lists… we haven’t seen quite all of them, but we have seen quite a few. I like that.
Who do I like this year?
Joey Catalano
Leo Marlowe
Suzanne Toon (really love her voice)
Alex Lushington (too talented for words)
David Cook
and FLOVE Danny Noriega (because I think he’ll drive Simon crazy :-)
There is a lot of very good talent this year and I can’t wait for Hollywood.
Is Simon on Prozac or something — when did he become all happy/happy/joy/joy?
I with those that think there have been quite a few good auditions. I’m much more excited for this year than last (and I’m not a season 6 hater). I will be shocked if there are more than 1 or 2 people who stink it up come Top 24.
BTW- I love the behind the scene shots of the judges talking in between the auditions. In the past, those were infrequent and only to show Simon say something offensive (i.e Mandisa’s weight) or briefly say something like “I like her.” Seeing him say that Paula was right or wishing the Beauty Queen couldn’t sing and just seeing them all interact is great!
I am liking Danny Noriega precisely because he goes against the grain. Those are always the Idols I am attracted to, as long as they are basically talented singers.
I hope he drives everyone crazy and that will make it fun for awhile at least.
I do look forward to seeing the singing with the drums, the singing with the guitar, the singing with the keyboards, the singing with, uh, the singing. Should offer at least a modicum of entertainment and should keep me off Team Indifference this year …….. maybe.
Right now, the only auditioners that I would dedicate two hours every Tuesday night for voting would be Leo Marlowe and possibly Brooke White. Other that that…meh.
I think the audition week was about two weeks too long. Most of the good auditions were in the first three or four episodes anyway. And yesterday’s show was pointless. Why couldn’t we drop that episode and extend Hollywood week an episode?
I thought I had read it on this thread, and went back and watched Danny’s audition again. I don’t know where I read it but Danny Noriega DOES look like Amanda Bynes!! Esp in that film “She’s the Man” Not an insult because Amanda made a very cute androgenous boy, but the resemblence is amazing.
The puppy is very cute… Could the girl be wearing a push-up braw ? I have a feeling thier will be some low cut shirts again this year . I have an idea how about holding it outside up north when it is 30 degress when all you can see is thier eyes.
Awwww to Simon and the puppy.
I liked Cardin before I saw her audition (based on her myspace music and her blog) and I still like her a lot after seeing her audition. Yay!
Well Nigel did say there will be more talent this year, so maybe, just maybe we’ll finally have a talented TOP 24! I certainly hope so. I have a few favorites but am not ready to commit.
Yes, cut down the auditions by two dates and add more Hollywood!