Jena's Atlanta GA Recap

Sorry y’all had to wait until now for my little recap. A girl’s gotta get some sleep!

Everyone has read reviews and summaries of this show, so I’m going to spare you the same bla. You’ve heard it all before how many times now? So I’ll give you a little of my experience and hope I don’t put you to sleep.

It started off as a charmed evening. I was late, not unusual for me, dreading parking and walking in the oppressing heat to the arena. I pulled into the parking lot nearest the door to the will-call where I had to pick up my ticket. The parking helpers directed me to park my car right there at the curb! Just past the “Lot Full” sign! As Pam found out earlier in the day I tend to ignore signs like that and dare anyone to tell me to do otherwise. LOL! It works most of the time. Anyway, it pays to drive a Miata, or as I like to call it, the Shriners Clown Car. (I am not a little woman)

By the time I made the 2 minute walk to will-call, picked up my ticket and made my way down from the nosebleed to the 5th row center seat I had purchased the night before, Ace was just finishing up Harder to Breathe. His cheeks were so rosy he looked like a young Ronald Reagan.

Honestly, I was debating the entire drive there – 10 whole minutes – whether to turn the car around and go meet Julie and Quinn at Wild Wings or go ahead and go. I even called the girls and asked for advice. So I decided I would “Let go and let God”. (No, my God does not have more important things to do) God gave me that parking space, so I was forced to go, and I was thrilled the moment I sat down and looked at Ace’s rosy cheeks. God made the right decision. Thanks God.

Ace is beautiful and he has a beautiful body. He is a pleasure to watch. His large doe eyes seem to look right at you. (More on that later) His hair always looked a little flat and greasy to me on the show. The unbearable Georgia heat and humidity has done wonders for it. It was curly, shiny, and impossibly fluffy and unruly. Made you just want to run your fingers through it and make purdy ringlets. Mmmmmm.

The Leather Queen couple sitting next to me were as into it as I was. Jena’s Webster -> Leather Queen: Gay man who likes to wear black and leather. Think Village People.

I asked them who they were there for, thinking Chris, the most logical choice seeing as how the one next to me was dressed exactly like Chris right down to the shaved head and wallet chain. A 350 pound Chris. “We like them all! We’re here for all of them.” They squeeed. “But we really enjoyed Elliott.”

On my left was two middle aged couples. Early 50’s I would say. There are two groups of Early 50’s people I have noticed. There are the “Ask me about my grandkids” group and the uber stylish driving their convertible BMW’s group. These were the driving the BMW’s group.

Come to find out, they too were there for all of them. The husbands acted like they were there for the wives, but the one sitting next to me was singing “Whole lotta love” and playing air guitar. ‘Nuff said.

After Ace came Lisa. What a doll-baby. The LQ’s and I were totally mesmerized with her performance. We all agreed we would go see her again, perhaps at a smaller venue like the Fox Theater. She was great and Atlanta showed the love for Lisa. She knew it, too and she really glowed. Sitting in the very front, I imagine I heard the same response the performers heard, and if so, there is no wonder why Lisa’s performance and dancing was so energized.

Lisa introduced her best friend Paris, and they went into their duet, Waterfalls. Everyone always talks about Paris’ dance moves, and we all know she’s got ‘em. Lisa is every bit as good! These gal’s had so much fun up there together and we all had fun watching them.

When Lisa left, Paris had made her way up to the top, middle of the ramp. When she started her first song, it was really electric! The music started, she made this move, and on the screen behind her fireworks burst. It all happened at the same time and it was so cool it made me gasp, yell “WOW!”, stand up and start dancing. LOL!

Next was Bucky and once again, Atlanta loves Bucky. I have to say it again, the crowd response for everyone had been huge. The LQ’s and I debated over whether Bucky was cute or not and they decided to let me have him. I’m sure Bucky would thank them if he knew. I let them have Elliott. Sorry E.

It was about this time the two girls in the second row really began to get on our nerves. They had these extremely frightening Chris-on-a-stick’s in different sizes and they continued to hold them up throughout everything. Now, imagine you are Bucky, standing on the stage singing “Superstition” to a jam packed-to-the-rafters arena and there, bobbing above the crowd not 10 feet in front of you are smiling Chris Daughtry heads. Yeah, it freaked me out too. I told the Queens I was going to have nightmares of fat women chasing me with Chris-on-a-stick’s for the rest. Of. My. Life.

Speaking of that, I have NEVER, and I mean never seen so many fat women in tank tops and short shorts in one place in my life outside of 6 flags. There was cleavage busting out all over. I had this odd craving for milk. Maybe that’s why I had that double white Russian at Wild Wings. Hmmmm.

Kelley came out at the end of Bucky’s set dressed in the now famous black hoodie. What an absolute cutie-pie. She had on makup, but not stage makeup, lip gloss and had her hair extensions in but her hair was not “done”. She had been to the meet and greet, saw the pic’s from the Chris fans I met earlier.

It was so darn cute. She cuddled up under Bucky’s arm as he explained her problem. She made a cute pouty face and nodded her head while he spoke. As he talked she pantomimed what he was saying. Very funny, but you could tell she was not feeling well. Before she left the stage she stood there with the saddest face – not put on – and blew kisses to the cheering crowd. Her eyes were a little damp.

Intermission. Honestly, it seemed like I had only been there 5 minutes. The Queens went to get beer, the Husbands went to get alcohol (the better to play air guitar with) and I chatted with the wives and the wife – also in the BMW group - in front of me. We agreed the bobbing Chris-on-a-stick’s along with their owners should be beat down. One in particular stood and danced the whole time. Even when no one was singing. She had the strangest figure. She had the ass of Mandisa, the above the waist of Lisa Tucker. She shook her money maker like Paris. Now this woman was in the center of the second row, so I’m positive those bobbing Chris heads and this fat bottom girl are in somebody’s video and pictures somewhere.

Sitting in the two rows between us and the FBG were a sea of little children. A pair of parents whom I can only assume lost a bet brought about 8 7-9 year olds to the concert. Obviously a vendor of some sort because of the seats. The children were amazingly well behaved, btw, props to the parents.

Well, when Mr. Chris came on, the FBG started doing what I can only describe as “pole dancing”. My new BFF on my right and left and the wife in front of me noticed almost immediately and we all started giggling. At one point we were laughing so loudly during poor Chris’ slow song that everyone around us turned around and looked. I hope Chris didn’t hear.

What had happened was FBG was so into her lustful dancing that she did this move – right shoulder dip, half spin facing us and two astonished little 8 year old boys, bend over at the waist holding onto back of chair, spill cleavage titillating little boys, do slow figure 8’s with giant ass, spin back around and continue pole dance.

We. Cracked. UP. I composed myself first and leaned over to air guitar star and said “Got your dollars ready?” We all started laughing hysterically. That’s when everyone turned around to look at us. LOL!

Okay ladies, it’s time for the Chris moment. I was so stunned I had to call MJ as soon as I left to ask if she had seen this at any of the other concerts. Chris’ first song is “Whole lotta Love”. It has a line in it, “I’m gonna give you every inch of my love”.

Picture this. As he’s going into this line he reaches down with his left hand, caresses the inside of his left thigh for a brief second and when he gets to the “inch” word he grabs his package and does a slight, hard hip thrust.

It was not done as a deliberate gesture. It wasn’t even crude like it sounds. It seemed to be ummm well, an intimate moment. I felt like a voyeur. I like being a voyeur!

I’m going to call this part one and end it here. I need a nap!!

Part 2

The Gwinnett Arena is a big place. People were sitting up to the rafters. Remember how the house looked for the finally? That’s how the arena looked last night. The acoustics from where I was sitting were surprisingly good considering it was an arena. Once or twice the base was too heavy and microphones not quite loud enough, but all in all, the Gwinnett Arena is a great place for a concert. Oh yeah, I could feel the air conditioner blowing gently the entire time. That alone earns it 5 stars from me.

The reason I spent a little time on the Gwinnett Arena is not to get y’all down here for the next AI concert. Stay home will ya? So I can get another 5th row seat. It’s to say that this is Chris’ element. This is where Chris belongs. He’s a tiny man, but he can fill up an arena of this size with his presence, his personality and his voice. All three are very powerful. So powerful in fact I cannot tell you if he was wearing a wallet chain or not! I can tell you he WAS turning that delightful shade of pink that we really white people turn when exposed to the sun the first one or two times in summer. Ouch!

Although most of us were sitting down after Chris sang his first song, my new BFF Leather Queen dressed as Chris stood there dreamily swaying while Chris crooned. Well, except for when we were cracking up at the strip tease.

Everyone was thrilled when Elliott came out. The Chris-on-a-stick’s were bobbing in excitement! Chris disappeared and E had the stage. We got the “where my ladies at” line as well and me and all my new BFF got the giggles again. “We don’t know Elliott. Where IS YO Ladies AT?” giggle giggle giggle.

Poor Elliott. Poor Chris. I had succeeded in turning 8 otherwise sane adults into a bunch of hecklers. They were all drinking, I was stone cold sober. I just have that effect on people. :D What would Ray La LaMontagne do? Probably curse us and stomp off the stage. But honestly, I don’t think anyone was paying attention to us.

E was having an off night. Atlanta has lots of love for E, but E just wasn’t feeling it. Again the Leather Queens and I decided an arena was just not the right setting for Elliott.

I think when E left, Chris came out again and started Patience. I remember everything in segments, but I’m not sure if this was before or after Kat. Before Chris started, he caught site of the bobbing Chris-on-a-stick’s. He grimaced at the dirty dancer and her friend (who was so short you couldn’t see her – just the bobbing Chris head) and said into the mic for all to hear, “It’s kinda creepy seeing my head on a stick”. Well, you know the hecklers and I just busted out! I mean it – Chris was totally creeped out by it.

The look on his face was priceless. Their plan worked! They got Chris’ attention! Only not the way they were hoping I’m sure. Even then, they did not put the Chris heads away. Chris would NOT look down at our area.

When the boys left, I started looking for Taylor. I totally forgot about Kat. I was surprised to hear someone else singing. There she was, at the top of the walkway. Black dress, as you know, stolen from her mothers closet to match her black soft cast. I think her other foot was shoeless. I saw toes and skin peaking out and she was walking all over the hem. Obviously she was to be wearing heels with the dress.

What I wasn’t expecting was how much I enjoyed it. Yes, I did. She was having fun, chuckling that deep, throaty goofy chuckle that seems so wrong coming out of that beautiful face. The band seemed to be loving her as well. She did her little speech and Atlanta gave her such an abundance of love that I swear she got misty eyed. Maybe it was fake.

When she started SOTR, Leather Queen Chris nudged me and motioned for me to look over my shoulder. What I saw were little girls everywhere standing on chairs, holding their mom’s hands or clutching “I love you Kat” posters. They all had magic twinkles in their eyes. Just like they were watching a fairy princess, they were in a trance. Kat knew it and did not disappoint her little fans. She would point and wave little personal waves, acknowledge as many as she could see. She would mouth or motion “I love you too” without that fake look on her face. She really was into this y’all. She did not disappoint.

I got so wrapped up in it and so moved by the whole thing, at the end I stood and cheered and waved my hands above my head like a crazy person. Hey! I was a little girl once! Honest to God, I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from screaming “I LOVE YOU KAT!”.
At that moment, I really did.

Just as she left, we started looking for Taylor. I knew he was going to come in through the crowd, but my God, he started at the top and danced his way all over the huge arena before making it to the stage. Everyone was up and stamping and cheering. No matter who you were there for, THIS was what everyone was waiting to see. Taylor come through the crowd.

Gaaah, what a beautiful human specimen. I am happy to report he had on a pair of very tight jeans. They were obviously old and worn, but no harmonica fade on the pocket so I was wondering if he borrowed them from his brother. There were tight. Did I mention they were tight?

The tidy whitey band was still in evidence above the waist band of the jeans. Umm. Did I mention his jeans were really tight. He was sporting a camel toe.

Taylor is still illing. He could hardly make it through DIMYP. He hit the one glory note, but saved it all for that note. It was painful to watch, really. The backup track did more singing than he did. And Taylor, to answer your question, “yes”, you make Atlanta proud.

He left the stage and the noise – I can’t call it applause – the NOISE was deafening. Huh? Say what? I said THE NOISE WAS DEAFENING. We all knew he was coming back. Hey, why is the band leaving? You’re just going to have to come back. Come back Taylor!! Come back band!!

The Enterprise doors open, smoke pours out and here he comes in a fresh white shirt. Boy, he was beat, but he gave it all he had. Dancing, twirling, Ford commercialing, hand on hipping (lose that Taylor).

He actually teased us with the harmonica. Puff into the harmonica mic, blow through the harp, put it up to the mic, turn head, jerk harp away, repeat. He had the crowd gasping and groaning. Excitement, disappointment, excitement, disappointment. He was playing us and we knew it. Gaaaaaah! There was nothing we could do, he had us in the palm of his hand, damn him!! We wanted it, he had it and he wasn’t giving it until he was damn well ready. He made our mouths water until we were drooling. We hated him and we loved him.

Finally, he busted out and let it rip. Ahhhhh. Climax achieved. I think we were all satisfied, although he left us wanting more.

Before he left, he reached over and flipped the switch on Little Ray. Little Ray was dressed in a tux with a big bow tie and when Taylor hit the switch he rocked from side to side and banged on his piano. Very cute. Ray was still rocking when the others came out for their group song. It was so funny to see Ray rocking out with the band! LOL!

On the group Living in America, Taylor and the boys were having such a good time. Those guys have really got a close camaraderie going on. Taylor had a teasing look on his face and got out of their little marching line and was making fun of each guy as he passed by. He shooed Elliott to stand next to Kat in his place to start the teasing off and from that point on, the guys were nudging, poking, getting out of step on purpose, trying to throw one another off and just having a typical fraternity type of interaction. The girls were watching and giggling at the antics. I noticed Taylor queue the band and they kept playing when they should have ended. The guys kept on singing and having fun, running all over the stage. You could tell this wasn’t planned because they were nowhere on mark when the song was finally over. Ace did his now famous leap and landed teetering right on the edge of the stage.
Whoops!! I SWEAR he looked right at me, waved and said “Good Night!!”, just to me. No one else, just me. I know this because I started jumping up and down waving and yelled “BYE ACE!!”, making a fool of myself.

As they all hurriedly exited, Taylor was still standing in front of the Enterprise doors dancing his heart out. He did not want to leave. He wasn’t dancing for us. He was dancing for himself, just having a blast. As he wound down, he looked at us in the front rows with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, ran up and flipped the switch on Little Ray again, turned around and ran through the doors. Little Ray played out the band and we all left. My new best friends and I said our fond farewells. We all agreed we had a tremendous time and were so glad we went. We promised to look for each other at Wild Wings, but I didn’t have a chance to once I got there.

I’m leaving it there for now. I did get to see all of my favorite Taylor Faces, and a few new ones. Hate to do it to you, but I’ll tell you tomorrow.