Tonight I’ll be live blogging the premier of Dancing With the Stars 13. After a fairly underwhelming cast was announced, we’ll see how this year’s stars do! Who will cha-cha to the top this year?
Oooh a “BRAND NEW BALLROOM” according to Tom Bergeron. Love me some Tom Bergeron, as he and cardboard Brooke Burke announce our stars! The stairs split into to reveal the orchestra. Chaz and Lacey arguably get the loudest applause.
Ron Artest and Peta Murgatroyd – Cha Cha Cha – It’s the Artest Formerly Known as Ron! Ron’s dancing because his daughter asked him to. It’s Peta’s first season, and she tells Kym Johnson to look out-there’s another Aussie on the show! He’s 6’7! Not too bad of a way to start Season 13, but Ron(?) is definitely very slow and robotic in his movements. Athletes usually have this problem at the beginning of the season. Whoah, hip action! Len says it lacked cha cha content and it was “all sizzle no sausage.” Welcome back, says Tom! Bruno says technique was poor, but Ron has lots of power and presence. Carrie Ann called the technique “blehhhhh” but it was fun. Okay. Tom sends them to the “skybox.” So that’s the new celebriquarium. Ron flirts with Brooke! Peta is happy to be here. Carrie Ann -5 Len – 4 Bruno – 5 – 14. 1-800-VOTE4-01.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmUllwPu3Hg
Shout out to the Kardashians! There are like 45 of them.
Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke – Viennese Waltz – Rob wants to step away from the shadow of his sisters and be recognized as an individual. Cheryl wants to win, it’s been 10 seasons since she won with Emmitt Smith! Remember when Kim danced? Heh, that was a while ago. Today she’s considered an A-Lister, I’ll leave why exactly up to you because I’m not quite sure myself! I wonder how she’d do if she performed today. Rob is also very robotic–walking across the stage as opposed to dancing. His movements aren’t very fluid, but they are exaggerated. Cheryl definitely went easier on the choreography with Rob. Rob could have potential if his movements were more smooth! Nothing worth remembering here, but not too shabby. The Kardashian clan are giving him a Standing-O. Bruno says Rob looked petrified. He has to let go and feel the music. THANK YOU. Musicality! Khloe Kardashian yells something across the dancefloor. Carrie Ann saw potential. He has to let it flow, but he cleans up nice. THANK YOU AGAIN. Len says it was careful and okay, which will get him through a few weeks. He needs to just let it go. “JUST COME OUT AND DANCE!” Scores coming after the break. Carrie Ann – 6 Len 5 – Bruno – 5 – 16. 1-800-VOTE4-02.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7OPezg_7fU
Kristin Cavallari and Mark Ballas – Cha Cha Cha – Mark and Derek always get the pretty, young girls! This season’s no different. I wonder if she’ll fare better than her ex-Hills star, Audrina Patridge, who was really quite good, but too disconnected. Kristin says she is NOT a b*tch! Kristin was recently engaged, but broke up, and DWTS is a good outlet for her. Mark tells her she has to exaggerate and not be afraid to shake. Kristin wants the highest scores of the night. Whoah, not loving these vocals on “Dynamite” at all! Kristin’s actually doing a decent job! She’s much more fluid than the two men, and she’s actually DANCING. Smiling, confidence, etc. Uh oh, a split shaking section-I’ll bet Len bashes Mark for his choreography there. Best so far, for sure. Carrie Ann says Kristin has great hair and a great body for dancing. She says Kristin is shining and she kept up with Mark. It was tough choreography! Len said it was bright and lively, and he was excited to watch Kristin, but she hid in her shell a little bit. Bruno loves a bad girl with “hot hips.” She has the full package. He criticized her on her unbalanced turns and hitting every beat. But she’s got the hotness, says Bruno! Carrie Ann – 7 Len – 6 Bruno – 6 – 19. I thought that was 7 worthy, Len and Bruno! 1-800-VOTE4-03.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvWt0TlnTCs
Chynna Phillips and Tony Dovolani – Vienesse Waltz – She’s a singer married to one of the Baldwins. Tony is always ripped off, he deserves to go far this year! From her first moves, I can tell Chynna has great musicality. Wow, impressive spin and balance on that turn! Chynna is doing a great job-really fluid, connected, and in-sync with Tony. She completely trusts him and allows him to spin her all around the stage. Standing O from the crowd, and best so far! Len is smiling! He says it wasn’t the best first dance he’s ever seen, but it was close! Tony’s done a good job with Chynna. Bruno calls her a dream and he loved the ballet aspect to it. Talent is there. Carrie Ann says her waltz was gorgeous. Chynna was perfection and magical. She can’t wait to see Chynna next week. Do I sense 8’s coming? That was extremely impressive, definitely wasn’t expecting that! Chynna only hopes her kids are proud of her! I’m liking her. Carrie Ann – 8 Len – 7 Bruno – 7 – 22. Tony is very happy! If that was scored a 22, I doubt we’ll see anything higher than that tonight. 1-800-VOTE4-04.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzctAXf4BIE
Nancy Grace and Tristan McManus – Cha Cha Cha – Tristan is a newbie to the show, just like Peta! She can be very scary…but she wants to show her three-year old twins she can dance. Tristan has a crazy Irish accent! Nancy knows absolutely nothing about the cha cha. Ha! Nancy is so funny! She’s sitting at a desk to start off! Crowd cheers as she strips off her jacket. Hip swivels aren’t too bad, but she’s staring right at Tristan to make sure she’s right! Technically, her technique isn’t terrible, but she’s a little sluggish in her movements. Bruno says she is light on her feet. Hmm. She is good, but has no confidence. Carrie Ann thinks her smile saved the day, but she forgot the choreography. Len says she lost balance and had no attack. It was underwhelming. Carrie Ann and Bruno argue with Len and I can’t understand a single word anone says. Carrie Ann – 5 Len – 5 Bruno – 6 – 16. Nancy is happy she made it through the dance. 1-800-VOTE4-05.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYWtXcKRIhA
David Arquette and Kym Johnson – Vienese Waltz – Kym’s the current Dancing with the Stars pro champion! David’s been sober for over eight months! David seems to doing a nice job in the video before his dance. He has good focus. He’s there for Kym at every step. He matches her beautifully! Didn’t see this one coming, for sure! The most fluid and smooth guy for sure. He’s light and precise in his footwork. His stony facial experssion looking off into the distance puts me off, but technically a solid job. Ooops he let go! Carrie Ann she liked the dance and David’s vulnerability. He just needs to relax. Len said there was no “messing about” and he was impressed with how David came right into the dance. There’s Courtney Cox clapping! Len says he’s a dancer. Bruno said he got too tied up to Kym. Each dance is a movie-beginning, middle, and end-stay in it. Preach it, Bruno! Carrie Ann – 6 Len – 6 Bruno – 6 – 18. David’s daughter is clapping! 1-800-VOTE4-06.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mu_HJ8eCp3c
Elisabetta Canalis and Val Chmerkovskiy – Cha Cha Cha – Val is Maks’ brother. He looks just like him! He calls out Maks on dancing for 10 years and not winning. Elisabetta has a heavy Italian accent. Tonight they will speak the language of the cha cha! Yikes! Val is shirtless, taking after his brother Maks! I wonder if Len will call him out on it. Elisabetta’s hip action is impressive. Yay a split! She is really good, she just needs to control her movements a little more. Nice job from her! I figured Len would hate the bed. Duh. He didn’t mind it, but then it got jumbled. Aww. Bruno said she’s good in bed. Um… He and Carrie Ann agree that she’s very weak by herself. I thought she did a nice job with it, call me crazy! Not sure where this bashing is coming from. Elisabetta thinks it’s harder for Val to understand her than her to understand him. Carrie Ann – 5 Len – 5 Bruno – 5 – 15. Boooo. Val says he is cheering for Maks. 1-800-VOTE4-07.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Hghe7g_QXA
Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy- Viennese Waltz – Brother #2 of the Chmerkovskiys! Hope is smokin’! She wants to block her competition on the dancefloor. Hope calls herself a stiff athlete. Hope says she’ll be a better dancer than Maks will ever be a goal keeper! Maks points out his muscles. I can tell Len won’t be loving this, just from Maks’ confidence and attitude, even before the dance. Yay for good posture! Hope’s back is arched back beautifully. Her arms are fluid and elongated. Quick and light footwork. Can’t complain one bit. I think Hope was the front-runner. Beautiful dance, but not too memorable. Bruno says she has a bright future, a great drive, but needs to gain control. Carrie Ann loved their body contact and their strong connection. She has to let it go. Len says good posture, good movement, good rotation, but she has to get more fluid and feminine. Pimping for the DWTS hair and make-up by Brooke. Carrie Ann – 7 Len – 7 Bruno – 7 – 21. Second highest of the night! Heh, Brooke points out Hope is more athletic than Makes. I like Hope too. 1-800-VOTE4-08.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjgmvo48zb4
Carson Kressley and Anna Trebunskaya – Cha Cha Cha – It’s all about high energy! HAHA Carson puts the “C” in caucasian! He admits to having no talent and he wonders if Nancy Grace is better than him! He’s funny. But can he dance!? Ah I love “Moves Like Jagger!” I expected him to totally bomb, but he’s keeping up. Decent footwork, my friend! He’s so larger than life and flamboyant. It’s really entertaining. This is really fast. What a surprise! Carrie Ann is dancing in her seat! Len won’t like his over-confidence. Carrie Ann said it was by far her favorite dance of the night! She can’t get over all of the sparkling, but technically speaking he was average. Len said “jagger, swagger, and something else with an -agger.” He said he was a lot of fun and he enjoyed it. Bruno said it was full-out outrageous fun. Worth every dollar! Carson says his outfit is from his closet! Carrie Ann – 6 Len – 5 Bruno – 6 – 17. Carson’s happy he’s in double digits. He did dance better than Nancy! 1-800-VOTE4-09.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QArrZ-iXbaM
J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff – Viennese Waltz – J.R. is from the army, now an actor, and he’s hoping to be a dancer. He said he’s proud of his scars on his face from protecting America, which gets huge applause from the audience. What a hero. Kelly Clarkson song! He’s very light on his feet and elongating his lyrical movements. He holds on to Karina tight as he spins her on the floor. He’s in sync with Karina and catches her at her every step-exactly what the male dancer is supposed to do! Standing ovation from the crowd. He did fantastic; best guy yet? Len says J.R. stands for “Just Right.” He’ll see J.R. next week. Bruno says he can’t wait to see J.R.’s Latin, but he has to clean up his lines. Carrie Ann was touched by his dance. She liked his confidence and his fluidity. His hero story and good dancing will get him far, I’m sure. Brooke asks J.R. if he ever imagined himself at dancing on a ballroom. Of course, he says. Carrie Ann – 8 Len – 7 Bruno – 7 – 22. That’s a little too high, but he’s very good. Tied with Chynna. 1-800-VOTE4-10.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT62XNs_oCA
Ricki Lake and Derek Hough – Viennese Waltz – Kirstie Alley inspired Ricki to dance! Derek believes in her. She wants to get a dancing body back at the age of 42! Nice posture, and clean footwork. She’s smooth, but could be a little more fluid in her movements. There’s a bit of shuffling in the middle. A very clean, decent performance. I wish Derek gave her some harder choreography. Derek is back from a year off! Bruno says she enjoyed every moment and she had a great connection. Carrie Ann loved the way they finished each others’ moves. They were like one. Len didn’t like her footwork, but called her performance elegant and fluid. He still enjoyed it. Carrie Ann – 7 Len – 7 Bruno – 7 – 20. A good start. 1-800-VOTE4-11.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPDJ-drdAJg
Chaz Bono and Lacey Schwimmer – Cha Cha Cha – Oh boy. Can’t wait to see this one. OF COURSE the most controversial is last. Chaz says he is known for being a transgender. Lacey thinks she will win this season. People will support him because he’s taken so much hate. He’ll be around for a while just from view vote. Here we go. Confidence: check. He has energy and is dancing, not just walking! I bet it’s really awkward for Lacey to connect to Chaz… but she’s masking it well. They’re doing a decent job. Chaz looks a little bit out of place. The crowd stands up for Chaz! Is Cher in the audience!? Negative. Carrie Ann points out that people have been waiting all night for Chaz. She says he has so much joy and that he has great footwork. Len says he came out to enjoy himself. He had a great attitude and good footwork. Bruno calls him cheeky, cute, and cuddly. Great comments from the judges! Brooke, you have so many questions you can ask Chaz and Lacey. Why are you so bland with them? Chaz wanted people to support him and to ovecome the hate. He’s having fun. Carrie Ann – 6 Len – 5 Bruno – 5 – 17. Great comments with okay scores. 1-800-VOTE4-12. They won’t be going anywhere anytime soon!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSQKctF0Uj8
FINAL SCORE BOARD
1. Chynna Phillips and J.R. Martinez – 22
3. Hope Solo – 21
4. Ricki Lake – 20
5. Kristin Cavallari – 19
6. David Arquette – 18
7. Carson Kressley and Chaz Bono – 17
9. Rob Kardashian and Nancy Grace – 16
11. Elisabetta Canalis – 15
12. Ron Artest – 14
Someone goes home tomorrow at 8 EST on ABC! I wouldn’t be surprised to see Elisabetta Canalis or Ron Artest go home tomorrow. The rest are safe.
