Tea Talk
Previously: Bianca won. Laganja was a mess and went home.
In the werk room, the queens are disappointed that Laganja’s is so short. Adore feels bad that Laganja left on a bad note. They didn’t have a chance to make up with her. Trinity shrugs. It is what it is. But she says it was Bianca’s fault for attacking Laganja. Joslyn turns that into a joke by blaming Bianca for winning!
“I stole your moment!” Bianca laughs at Trinity. “I steal everything.” For Trinity, the win was being safe and having RuPaul get emotional about her breakthrough. Now, her mission is to win a challenge!
Joslyn is puzzled by her bottom two placement. She thought she was in the middle of the comedy routines, laughs-wise. We get a short bit where the other queens comment on how mediocre she is. Courtney calls her “the Dida Ritz” of the competition. Dela thinks she’ll be the next to leave. What does Joslyn think? “Bobby pin!”
There’s no more “She-Mail,” just a video of RuPaul with the Top Three Reasons to win Drag Race. She ends with a big, “Heeeeeeere’s RuPaul!”
“We’re going to box each other!” Adore concludes. Courtney stares at her. “How did you get that?” Courtney marvels.
What we get is ten pit crew members, all clad in their scruff undies. With them comes Johnny Scruff, owner of the Scruff social network. Which is something of great interest to people who are not me.
The mini challenge is a game of “Hung Men.” The pit crew have letters affixed to their bottoms and turn around one by one, showing the letters. The queens have to guess what word is being revealed. The words all contain the letters “A-S-S” and “B-U-T–T” within them. Dela wins with two points, receiving a year’s worth of eyelashes from EyLure.
Then RuPaul explains the main challenge. Which is not boxing. It’s to host a very short talk show. The guests will be Chaz Bono (Cher’s son), and Georgia Holt (Cher’s mother). Joslyn is especially excited. She knows George Holt as a country singer. That’s more than I knew, so I’m already impressed.
The other queens, however, are not impressed with Joslyn. While they’re working on their research, she’s working on her look. Trinity concludes smugly that, “I’m not going home.”
RuPaul starts his rounds with Adore, who looks a little frazzled. He reminds her that preparation is important. With Dela, RuPaul asks whether she can act on Michelle’s complaint always being in character. Boy Ben replies that, since Dela has helped him combat his depression with positivity, maybe he can return the favor by teaching Dela some vulnerability.
RuPaul warns Joslyn about needing to stand out. He likens the competition to gumbo that’s thinning out. “I like gumbo!” Joslyn giggles. RuPaul blinks and moves on.
Courtney asks RuPaul directly for help in pulling out of her “safe” zone. RuPaul says she’s very polished, but needs to show heart and a steel spine. RuPaul talks briefly to Trinity, who is excited about the challenge. Which looks exactly the same on Trinity as depression.
Courtney and Dela discuss their difficulties while putting on their faces. Courtney feels that the judges aren’t getting her. Dela is trying avoid getting depressed.
Then Adore takes to the set to interview Chaz and Georgia. She’s a mess, fumbling with her cards and getting overwhelmed with cue cards. She asks Georgia what it was like to be a singer at age seven. Georgia replies that she was singing for nickels because it was the Great Depression and they were trying not to starve. Adore just stares blankly, like the valley girl she is.
Bianca does well, except she doesn’t ask Georgia a single question, even though Chaz is trying to steer by saying Georgia was an inspiration and such. Courtney is excellent, friendly and chatty and putting both guests at ease. Trinity, on the other hand, keeps calling Chaz “Chad.” Darienne is nervous and dripping petals from her flowered head dress. Dela is pleasant, and asks interesting questions about their current projects — which is exactly what a talk show guest wants.
We don’t see Joslyn’s entire interview (we don’t see anybody’s). What we do see is her make a kind of crass mention of Cher’s vagina (which Chaz Bono came out of), and ask Georgia Holt her views on abortion. Georgia Holt freezes up.
The runway starts with RuPaul in a dress with a giant purple ribbon on the front. It looks striped with blue or black. A blue and purple ribbon is for Rheumatoid Arthritis awareness. A purple ribbon has about a dozen meanings, from Alzheimer’s to Worker’s Memorial Day. One is victims of homophobia, so I’m going to guess that’s the one.
RuPaul welcomes Chaz and Georgia to the judge’s panel. She also welcomes Paula Abdul, who has supported the show greatly by licensing her songs for lip-synching at a price within their budget. I’m hoping we get a Paula Abdul song tonight, because her songs have given us legendary lip-synchs in the past.
It’s a great runway. The theme is “Animal Kingdom.” Darienne is out first, with a gray sack dress, huge elephant tusk earrings and a forehead decoration. Adore is wearing a jeweled face mask, and a black cat suit. She later claims to be a panther. Oh! Like that Cartier commercial. D’oh, I just got that.
Dela does a fly with elaborate movements, but when she stands up, it’s cool and flattering. Trinity is a spectacular phoenix. Bianca is a leopard, with spots painted on her shoulders and face. Courtney is the most spectacular of all, with eagle wings that spread out about twelve feet behind her.
There are lots of interesting judging moments. Paula recognizes Adore as a familiar voice, even with the face mask. Bianca gets scolded for ignoring Georgia in the interview, but given a chance to ask a question. She asks a joke question about “life after love.” Joslyn is reduced to tears when she learns her abortion question embarrassed Georgia. She apologizes.
Paula turns out to be a great judge (well, it’s not a surprise to Idol viewers). She remembers Danny, and more importantly, remembers what was special about the teenager who finished thirteenth six years ago. She finds Bianca promising, with easily fixable faults.
Chaz and Georgia are also great, with thoughtful, generous critiques about each talk show host.
It’s neck-and neck between Dela and Courtney for the win. Courtney gets it, winning wigs from Outfitters Wigs, and a year’s worth of hair care supplies from Aquage.
The bottom two are Adore and Trinity, which is heartbreaking. I think Joslyn escaped because of her sincere apology. She’s so heartbroken that it would have been cruel to make that her last moment. To my delight, the song is Paula Abdul’s “Vibeology.” They’re both great, although kind of Raja/Carmen lite. Adore does a cartwheel at one point, and it all ends with a huge hug.
I’m happy that Adore stays, but it’s terrible that Trinity has to leave. She is a special person and a great queen. She gives RuPaul her thanks for all she’s learned. In the werk room, she’s practically dancing with excitement that she gets to go out in the world and start applying this experience. She writes, “Be Cool. Be Nice. Be You. XOXO TKB,” on the mirror and smiles.
Untucked
In the black-and-white corridor:
“What are you thinking?” Bianca asks Adore.
“I’m thinking that I’m lip-synching.”
The queens drink half their cocktails before they say another word. Adore is sure that she’s lip-synching and, when asked, figures Trinity will be as well. Which is scary, because Trinity is a monster at the lip-synch. Trinity seems ready to leave. She talks about wanting to do interviews someday. She’d love to be the Drag Queen on the runway, talking to all the celebrities.
“First you have to learn their names, Chad,” Darienne snaps.
“Shit happens,” Trinity shrugs. She asks if the others feels the critiques were helpful. Joslyn ruefully says she’ll never mess up like that again. Dela and Courtney try to buck her up by pointing out it wasn’t that bad, and a fair question since Georgia explored the topic in her documentary.
But Joslyn is still upset. “I’ll never forgive myself,” she confesses. “And the worst thing? They’re going to tell Cher that I’m an asshole!”
Courtney notes that the judges loved Dela this week. Dela gives Courtney credit for helping her maintain a positive attitude. In flashback, Paula praises Dela’s fly outfit and movement. Darienne asks Dela something shady, and we cut to Ben talking about Darienne’s edge and hoping that maybe Bianca can deal with it. Back to the lounge, where Dela shrugs, and Bianca does call Darienne out briefly.
There’s a discussion about Adore and Joslyn’s negative runway critiques. Courtney observes that they keep getting downgraded for their off-the-rack clothing. Trinity wonders how they can fix that, given the limitations of the competition. But Bianca says it’s not a beauty contest: unpolished queens have won the crown before.
Dela agrees, noting that there are many different challenges. Darienne adds that they’re all learning new things, like rapping. Bianca agrees, but says that not everyone can sing. She’s tired of Drag Race queens putting out bad albums.
It’s Big Pink Furry Box time! Adore reads a card introducing a new game. The video screen shows clip from the talking head interviews (with the voice and faces altered). They have to guess who’s talking. It’s all fun until they get a line about “glittery crayons,” that turns out to be an Adore interview.
Darienne calls Adore a white crayon, the useless one. Trinity calls Darienne out for attacking people, and Bianca says she’s been hateful all day. Darienne apologizes and blames it on low blood sugar. But privately, Darienne smirks that her sarcastic remarks always contain the sting of truth.
I have a feeling that this will continue to play out, since it’s become evident to all the queens now, not just Dela.
The conversation turns to Paula, and the Idol experience. Adore enjoyed both American Idol and RuPaul’s Drag Race, saying she always wanted to sing, and always wanted to be girl. Courtney retells her experience on Australian Idol, and talks about performing the tour for crowds of 14,000.
This was actually a year of torment for Courtney. It was difficult to handle fame that came so quickly, and so overwhelmingly. At one point, she crept into an alley and sat in a real gutter, asking “Why am I so broken? How can I be fixed?” She says she heard a voice that said, “You aren’t broken,” which changed her perspective in an instant. Ben and Trinity are nodding. Darienne interviews in agreement, saying that you (general you) haven’t finished your message yet.
And, on that positive note, the queens return to the runway.