Jon Peter Lewis - Part 3
Rexburg - Part 3 - Sunday and Monday
Breakfast
I spent the entire trip on East Coast time. Despite the fact that I stayed up past midnight every night, every morning I got up at 6:30 am. This is normally unheard of for me. I am not a morning person. While my roommate Snarkin was still sleeping, I'd sit up, turn on my bed-side lamp and log on to the internet. The night before, I told Snarkin that she needn't set an alarm clock--that I'd been waking up really early and would make sure that she was up too. The day before, we made plans with Xanthisma to meet for breakfast in the lobby. I spent the next few hours hanging out there waiting for people to wake up. The trip was beginning to wind down. Boo. I watched folks check out, hauling their suitcases, perhaps driving to Idaho Falls or Salt Lake City to catch a flight. We figured on leaving around noon or so. I ran into Betts (who I met at lunch the day before). She was on her way to a campus Mormon church service with one of the fans who happened to be a BYU-I student. I wandered over to the big room to see if Yoro, Schmanda and Inga were up. Now, at this point, I had forgotten all about Snarkin. I mean like, WOOSH, completely forgotten. The four of us stepped out to the lobby to meet Xan. She eventually arrived with her charming family--husband and three little children. We hung out, ate and chatted. Her husband was really nice. We met at lunch the day before, so it was cool to really sit down and talk to him. And her kids were adorable. After the Xan family took off to drive back home, suddenly we were like "Hey, where is Snarkin?" And then I was like "Geez I was supposed to wake her up." 
Ruh Roh. I dashed back to the room to wake up Snarkin. She looked at the clock. She was not happy. She got out of bed without saying a word. 
At this point, we were running a little late. We scrambled to pack and load the car. Snarkin was way behind, so I stuck around to help her. On our way out, we passed a really cute kid in a t-shirt that read "Modest Girls are the Hottest Girls". Inga goes, "I knew I was doing something wrong" 
Teh trip back to Utah
We left Rexburg. Bye campus. Bye Walmart. Bye Honks!. Bye Craxtree Inn. Bye Bear World. Man, what an adventure. I couldn't imagine I'd ever have a reason to come back to Rexburg--and I was actually feeling a little sad. I didn't fill up the gas tank before I left town. This decision, it turned out, was unfortunate. Snarkin was still not talking--not only to me, but to anybody. A silent Snarkin meant the party just left the room. We had complete dead silence in the car. "Three hours of this will not be good," I thought to myself. We drove the 20 miles to Idaho Falls and decided to have lunch. We wound up at the local Applebees and ordered. Inga, Schmanda and Yoro got up to check out the salad bar. I glanced up and Schmanda was motioning to me "Talk to Snarkin!" So I made an attempt to draw Snarkin out. Finally, she admitted that she thought we intentionally blew her off! Like, we didn't want to have breakfast with her! 
Oh my gosh, what a misunderstanding! I explained to her, that if she knew me better, she'd realize that I was absentminded and prone to forgetfulness. An unfortunate side effect is that I do inconsiderate things. And not waking her up that morning was totally inconsiderate. I apologized and assured her that my actions weren't personal. The others sat down and we talked a little more. And then, thank Jebus, Snarkie was back! Travelling with people you don't know very well can be fraught with all kinds of problems and misunderstandings. The little story here was the only minor glitch the entire weekend. We were in close quarters all weekend, and managed for the most part, not to step on each other's toes--amazing. We all bonded and got along famously. It was fantastic.
So, with Snarkin back in true form, the rest of the trip was gonna be a gas. Ha ha, I said gas. We'll get to that in a bit. The weather that day was the best yet. It was an absolutely gorgeous drive. The girls pulled out the masks and stuff we bought at Honks! and put them on. Inga pulled out her camera and filmed teh masterpiece that was Teh Three Chicas performing "Turn to Gay". Again, I laughed so hard I was in danger of having an accident, and not just with the car 
We crossed the Utah border, bound for Salt Lake City. Just as we got close to our exit, the car began to sputter.
RUH ROH
I glanced down and realized the gauge I thought was the gas gauge....actually wasn't. I quickly found the right gauge and came to know the bitter truth: We. Are. Out. Of. GAS. YIKES!
Heh. Sooooory chicas.
The chicas, smart and fast on their feet, quickly got out of the car to push me to to the nearest gas station, which thankfully, was just at the bottom of the ramp. Here they are in action. Their faces are covered with Crazee flowers in order to protect their super-sekrit identities (below left)
Within a minute, a really really nice man pulled up in a truck. He opened the door and got out. Barely speaking a word, he hooked up a tie/tow to our car. (below right) He towed us down the ramp and right up to a pump. Thank you nice man! I felt like an idiot. The girls were laughing their asses off. I was sheepish, having pulled the most boneheaded move of the weekend. I'm all "OMG! I've never run out of gas before!" That made every one laugh even harder. it's true, i swear... Ok, It actually was pretty funny. We stopped at the little station mini-mart for supplies and directions to our hotel. Thankfully, the hotel was just up the road.
Sunday Night
The hotel was a Marriott Courtyard, which I love. They had high-speed internet access in every room and, supposedly, a nice free breakfast in the AM. We unpacked and settled in. We decided to go into downtown Salt Lake City for dinner. We really weren't sure where we were going. Snarkin' wanted to get back to the hotel in time for Schmanda to give her a Photoshop lesson (Schmanda has teh awesome web skillz). We drove into town and made a point of driving by the LDS Temple. It was really quite impressive. We couldn't make a decision about where to eat. Finally we decided on a Macaroni Grill. I'd never heard of it, which suprised the others. Ahh, dining at a chain restaurant for the first time! I love fine dining adventures! We were delighted that the tablecloth was paper and could be used for coloring. The staff supplied the crayons. Schmanda drew a very impressive "mural" depicting exciting episodes from the weekend. It was hilarious. The chicas modeled outfits they considered wearing to the pr0m. (below left) Very modest don't you think? We finished dinner and it was back to our rooms for Schmanda and Snarkin's Photoshop lesson. and thank god that happened, cause Snarkin's chops are awesome. We LOVE Photoshop at the Harem. Hee. The trip was really winding down. I hate the end of trips.
Goodbye
I got up early again Monday. Snarkin's alarm (she set it, smart chica) buzzed and she hit the snooze. I packed up my things and dropped by the other room. Everybody was busily packing. The free breakfast turned out to be only coffee. Boo. Back in my room, Snarkin' was out of bed and I helped her pack. Bye Salt Lake City Courtyard Marriot!
The rest isn't even fun to recount. Suffice it to say, we all said our goodbyes, and promised to do it again. Maybe we could meet up on the east coast or in the Midwest where more Haremites could meet. I was tired, and had a long plane ride home that was unfortunately full of turbulence. Bleah.
Back at work the next day, I was actually crazy enough to share my photos with my co-workers, giving them plenty o' snark to use against me for many weeks to come. ed note: and months later i can say they didn't disappoint I'd had such great time, my good mood lasted for a few days rather than the typical 5 minutes and-then-it's-like-I-never-had-a-vacation-cakes.
Back at the Harem, I posted a bunch of fantastic photos taken by the talented Inga and shared a very brief story about my trip, insisting that a great, big trip report was forthcoming. ed note: and 7 months later it's done! <losah>
Teh End
To those who made it this far, thanks for reading my ridiculous and ridiculously long trip report. Feel free to share your thoughts by posting comments. Just click the "talk to me" link. Or, you can send me an email by clicking the little yellow ;) envelope.
I'd like to thank Yoroshiku, SnarkinUsa, Schmanda and Inga for being incredible trip mates and for sharing their experiences with me. Their assistance with some of the smaller details for this report was invaluable. No chicas--no trip report. Crap, I can't remember everything! 
And a big shout out to Internet fangirls/boys everywhere. It wouldn't be nearly as fun to exist in a vacuum--and that's a fact. 
Am I forgetting somebody? <taps forehead> Oh yeah, that guy? That guy we saw perform over the weekend? Ha. Just kidding. A big giant Heathen Harlot Harem Shout Out to Jon Peter Lewis who, by his unforgettable presence on AI3, is responsible for bringing an amazingly awesome group of women together. Thanks Jon. Oops, I mean, i forgot that e.e. Lewis deal Thanks jon.
talk to me:
